30 Days To Magnificent Weight Gain

bentz blog foodThe last month has been a whirlwind—scary and glorious all at once—and I’m not talking about creatively or professionally. It’s been a whirlwind of overeating.

30 days ago. Weight: 182. Begin a new habit of getting a bagel and 2 cream cheese packets (oh, and a sugar cookie) from the Barnes & Noble where I write. Separate myself from previous routine of eating fruit for breakfast.

25 days ago. Weight: 183.  Tweak my hamstring over-exerting myself on my nightly run when my iPhone shuffles to Pompeii. Opt not to put together a nutritional plan of food intake while sidelined. Instead drive to McDonalds and spend over $14 on a bag for one.

20 days ago. Weight: 185.  Christmas, 3:30pm-1:00am: a succulent type of beef, grits soufflé, mashed potatoes, creamed spinach, rolls, none of the salad, cheese cake, a little bit of some other type of cake, ham sandwich, Sun Chips, mashed potatoes, cereal, mashed potatoes, Fruit Roll-Up (Fruit Roll-up, for Christ’s sake, it’s midnight, I’m 33 years-old!), popcorn, Twix bar, juice box.

15 days ago. Weight: 188.  Hamstring feels okay, but too cold to hit the pavement. Opt to consume upward of 3,500 liquid calories on New Year’s.

10 days ago. Weight: 190.  Drop a fistful of popcorn (Have you ever sprinkled it with Parmesan cheese?) and each piece lands on belly; none make it to the lap or floor. Notice that my pajama shirt does not cover entire belly. Mull over diet plans while nibbling on Haribo gummy bears.

5 days ago. Weight: 194.  Limit myself to bottled water, fruit salad, turkey on rye no mayo, one serving of delicious chili. Lie in bed wide awake, observing like an innocent bystander my willpower battling growling belly. Growling belly convinces weak man to submit to the dark cloud that is late night hunger pangs. A frenzy of kitchen activity ensues for the next 45 minutes.

Today. Weight: 193.  193!!! No clue how it happened, but lose one pound despite no diet and no exercise other than walking from one sitting place to another. Feel tremendous about the dropped pound. Feel unstoppable. Ready to take on the world after I finish this blog post and this Reuben sandwich.


Posted on January 15, 2015

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